


Alias

by The_Rarispy



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Clara Oswald Mentioned, Classic and New Who References, Gen, Jamie McCrimmon Mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 11:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11531481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Rarispy/pseuds/The_Rarispy
Summary: Sometimes, it's the smallest things that become a problem with the Doctor's changed gender.





	Alias

**Author's Note:**

> My mind goes to weird places sometimes, and this was one of the first things I thought about after Jodie Whittaker was announced as the new Doctor.
> 
> So, I decided to imagine a scenario revolving around it. Enjoy! :P

He didn't think much of it when his supervisor gave him the immediate notice. He had been asked to guard stranger things before.

Being asked to keep the public distanced from a glowing, blue meteor crashed through the pavement didn't seem the least bit mundane.

"Just step aside, people," he kept repeating. "Nothing to see here. Go about with your lives."

One thing of interest happened that day, though. A blonde woman marched right up to him, flashing some form of identification in his face. She had a fierce look in her eyes, he noticed. Like fire and ice.

"Please let me by, it's urgent that I see that hunk of glowing rock ASAP," she demanded. "I'm from Scotland Yard, the name's John Smith."

The man was taken aback.

"Is there a problem…?"

"John Smith…?" the man repeated back. "Is… that supposed to be short for something?"

"No…?" The Doctor stared back at him, confused. She took a quick glance at her Psychic Paper to make sure it was working. "Why on Earth would it be?" She turned to a bystander nearby. "How fascinating, I've never had someone question me on this before. Usually works without incident."

The man crossed his arms, glaring at her. The Doctor stood there a few more moments until she realized that he was probably _not_ going to let her proceed.

"Right… You know what? Never mind this. I'm just going to, go make a call to some friends of mine." She began to march off, still shouting back, "Ever heard of UNIT? I'll be back! I swear it!"

* * *

Much later in the TARDIS, crumbled up pieces of paper flew all about.

She hastily jotted something onto another sheet.

"There. That should do just fine, eh old girl?"

She smiled at the note with confidence… before immediately scowling and tossing it away.

"Sure, fine enough. If I want to sound like a punk girl from the seventies."

The Doctor went into another room and then dragged out her old chalkboard. It still had that strange "Run you clever boy…" message on it, she realized. Quickly erasing it, she began to jot down names, crossing them out as she went.

"Let's see… Joann makes me sound like an old woman, which I suppose I am, but that would come with much less authority. Joanna is a little nicer, but far too many syllables. I don't have the time to waste saying all of that. Johnny Smith? Now that would _really_ be pushing it. Joan…"

An unexplained tinge of sadness came over her.

"No. No, not Joan. Joan would never work."

Feeling defeated, she hoisted the chalk at the board.

"Well, this is all just absolutely ridiculous! What does this planet have against women being named 'John'? I met a woman named John on Verxis Trinamba once! Lovely girl!" The Doctor smiled with reminiscence. "Mmm… she was one hell of a kisser too."

She continued to stare at the board for another moment. Then, she kicked it away, and with great determination, began flicking switches over the TARDIS console.

"Alright, enough games then! Who was it that originally coined this alias? James McCrimmon? We're going back to meet him and figure out my _new_ name!"

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a recap, Jamie McCrimmon was one of the Second Doctor's companions in the late 60's era. He was the first person in the series to come up with the "John Smith" moniker for the Doctor.


End file.
